The Fruit and the Root
Tuesday, June 17, 2025
The Pause That Begins the Process
Before we jump into changing anything, fixing anything, setting goals or making plans—can you just pause with me? Take a deep breath in… hold it… and release. You’re here. And that matters.
This isn’t about rushing to self-improve or “get your life together.” This is about looking gently but truthfully at what’s growing in your life and asking the deeper question: What is this fruit connected to? Because I know how easy it is to focus on the external stuff—the habits, the reactions, the things you wish you could “just stop doing already.” But if we never slow down to get curious about what’s underneath those patterns, we’ll keep repeating them, even when our heart longs for something different.
There are seasons when you feel frustrated with yourself—like, “Why do I keep doing this?” or “Why can’t I just stop reacting that way?” And maybe you’ve tried all the self-discipline in the world, and still found yourself circling the same emotional mountain. But what if I told you that behavior isn’t the whole story? What if the visible “fruit” you’re seeing—like procrastination, people-pleasing, burnout, or shutting down—isn’t the real problem at all? It’s just revealing something deeper. It’s pointing you toward the root.
Sometimes the behavior isn’t the issue—it’s the messenger. And if we keep pruning the branches while ignoring the roots, we’ll never experience lasting transformation. That’s why today, we’re not here to judge the fruit. We’re here to trace it. We’re here to lean in, gently and bravely, and follow that fruit down to the belief system that’s feeding it.
Root Determines Fruit
Jesus made it plain in Matthew 7:17–18: “A good tree can’t bear bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t bear good fruit.” And He wasn’t talking about apple trees or landscaping—He was talking about us. About our lives. Our patterns. Our internal world. This isn’t a condemnation—it’s a diagnostic. He’s giving us a tool for discernment. If the fruit looks off—if our lives are producing cycles of fear, striving, control, comparison, or shame—then the root needs attention.
That means your actions, emotions, and patterns are not random—they’re connected to what you believe deep down. And if you’ve been trying to manage your life by controlling the fruit—getting stricter, setting more rules, building more boundaries—without ever addressing the root, of course it’s been exhausting. Because real fruit doesn’t come from striving. It comes from connection. From source. From the integrity of the root.
Proverbs 4:23 backs this up: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” The Hebrew idea of the heart includes more than emotions—it’s the center of belief, decision-making, identity, and moral clarity. In other words, the heart is the soil. And what grows out of it is what’s been planted and nourished there.
If the soil is shame, the fruit will be fear. If the soil is performance, the fruit will be burnout. If the soil is insecurity, the fruit will be overcompensation. But if the soil is truth—real, God-breathed truth—the fruit will be rest. Joy. Peace. Courage. Steadiness.
This is why Paul’s words in Romans 12:2 hit so deeply: “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Not “be transformed by doing more.” Not “be transformed by feeling bad enough to change.” No, the transformation you’re longing for starts at the level of belief. Of perception. Of what you’ve agreed with internally. That’s where everything flows from.
If you’re only managing your behavior, you’re pruning branches. If you want breakthrough, healing, or sustained transformation, you must deal with your roots—your core beliefs. And that takes courage. But oh, friend, it’s worth it.
What the Brain Remembers
Let’s talk about your brain and body—because the spiritual and the scientific are not at odds here. They actually confirm each other. When we talk about roots, we’re not just talking about abstract beliefs—we’re talking about neural patterns. Hardwired pathways your brain has built through years of repetition, emotion, and survival.
The amygdala, your brain’s built-in alarm system, is designed to protect you. But it doesn’t differentiate between physical threat and emotional pain. If something feels like rejection, feels like humiliation, feels like danger—your brain lights up as if it’s all happening again, right now.
So let’s say you grew up in a home where mistakes were met with yelling, cold silence, or guilt trips. Your brain learned: “Mistakes aren’t safe.” That message didn’t stay in childhood—it traveled with you. Now, as an adult, even constructive feedback at work or a kind correction in a relationship can make your heart race, your chest tighten, your mouth go dry. Why? Because your brain is trying to protect you based on what it remembers, not what’s actually happening.
And here’s the good news: you are not locked into those pathways. Your brain can change. That’s what neuroplasticity means. The same way those old patterns were wired in, new ones can be formed through consistent truth, emotional safety, and God’s healing presence. But it won’t happen through willpower alone. It takes truth plus repetition plus grace. You don’t just think your way into healing. You rehearse it.
And your body? It’s not fighting you—it’s trying to protect you. It remembers what your mind forgot. Sometimes you feel tension in your chest, or tears rise out of nowhere, or you feel that urge to shut down—and you don’t even know why. That’s not weakness. That’s your nervous system trying to signal that something old got activated.
Which means transformation is not just intellectual—it’s embodied. You have to feel it to heal it. And God designed it that way. Because He doesn’t want a version of you that looks fine on the outside but is still bracing for impact on the inside. He wants you free all the way through.
Behavior as a Messenger
Let’s bring this even closer to real life. Because sometimes what we know intellectually hasn’t quite made its way into how we treat ourselves emotionally.
In trauma-informed education, we use a phrase that changes the entire way we see people: Behavior is communication. It means that what someone does—what they say, avoid, push, or pull—is not random. It’s not always rebellion, laziness, or defiance. It’s a signal. A story. A need. That child throwing a desk? They’re probably not trying to be difficult. They’re trying to tell you: “I don’t feel safe.” That kid who keeps apologizing even when nothing went wrong? They may not need a lecture—they may need reassurance: “I’m scared to disappoint you.” That teen who doesn’t even try anymore? They may be silently pleading, “It hurts too much to hope.”
And the truth is—it’s not just students. It’s us. Adults. Leaders. Parents. Pastors. High achievers. Dreamers. We’re all still carrying stories, too.
You might not throw desks anymore, but what do you throw? Do you throw up walls? Do you throw away opportunities? Do you throw yourself into busyness so you don’t have to sit with the ache underneath?
Let’s bring that mirror to your life.
Maybe you procrastinate—not because you’re disorganized or lazy—but because the fear of failing, of disappointing someone (maybe even yourself), feels bigger than the task itself. You want to move forward, but your nervous system freezes at the edge of expectation. The fruit is avoidance, but the root is fear.
Maybe you overachieve—not because you’re driven by vision, but because somewhere along the way, you picked up the belief that your value is tied to your usefulness. You believe—often subconsciously—that if you’re not excelling, you’re not enough. So you keep pushing past your capacity, performing until you’re emotionally depleted. The fruit is burnout. But the root is “I must earn love.”
Maybe you isolate—not because you don’t want connection—but because every time you’ve been vulnerable, someone left, misused your heart, or misunderstood you. So now, you keep people at a safe distance. You want intimacy, but the risk feels too great. The fruit is withdrawal. But the root is abandonment.
See what I mean? You can’t always see those roots on the surface. They often hide beneath layers of personality, strategy, religious language, or even coping mechanisms that once kept you safe. That’s why this kind of work—this soul excavation—requires a posture of Holy Spirit discernment, deep curiosity, and fierce compassion.
You’ve got to be willing to ask yourself the brave questions: Where did I learn this? What belief is underneath this reaction? When did I start rehearsing this script? Who taught me this—directly or indirectly?
And here’s the grace: You’re not being dramatic. You’re not being too sensitive. You’re not broken. You’re responding from a system—an internal belief and emotional framework—that your heart and brain developed to survive. You didn’t choose the root. But now, through the power of the Holy Spirit, you can choose to name it, unearth it, and replace it with truth. God isn’t asking you to shame yourself into change. He’s inviting you to heal your way into alignment.
Discover the Root, Plant New Truth
Here’s the beautiful part—and I want you to really take this in: You are not your behavior. You are not even your belief. You are the image-bearer of God who can choose what you believe. And that means you are never stuck. The same place where a lie was planted can become the ground where truth takes root.
This is the heart of transformational coaching. It’s not about slapping strategies on top of survival. It’s not about telling someone what to do. It’s about holding sacred space—space where someone feels safe enough to pause, reflect, and notice what they’ve been living out of... and to decide, with agency and faith, to shift. That moment of awareness? That’s where breakthrough begins.
One of my favorite tools for this work is something I call the Belief Tree. It’s simple, but powerful. You start by identifying the fruit—the outward behavior or pattern that keeps showing up. Then you trace it to the branches—the emotions connected to that behavior. From there, you move down to the trunk—the thoughts or inner dialogue you’re repeating when that emotion rises. Then you get to the root—the core belief underneath it all. And finally, you examine the soil—the early experience or memory where that belief first began to grow.
Once you trace it all the way down, you don’t just pull out the root and leave a hole. That would leave you vulnerable. No, you replace it. You plant a new seed. A new truth. Something rooted in God’s Word and God’s heart for you. And then you water it. You speak it. You rehearse it. You live from it—even before it feels natural.
You begin to say things like:
“I used to believe I had to earn love—but now I know I’m accepted in the Beloved.”
“I used to believe that visibility wasn’t safe—but now I know I was born to be seen.”
“I used to believe I was too much—but now I know I carry the fullness of God’s image.”
And here’s the thing: this isn’t fluff. This isn’t just pretty language. This is restoration. This is the renewing of your mind, the rebuilding of your belief system, the re-rooting of your soul. And it doesn’t always happen fast—but it does happen faithfully. Healing doesn’t always feel like a shout. Sometimes it feels like a whisper, a tremble, a shift in posture. But when you choose truth over and over again, the root begins to change. And when the root changes, the fruit has no choice but to follow.
You don’t have to settle for fruit that doesn’t reflect who God says you are.
You don’t have to keep believing what someone else projected onto you.
You don’t have to rehearse the lies that your pain taught you to expect.
You are allowed to believe something new.
You are allowed to grow new fruit.
You are allowed to be free.
How to Walk It Out
Let’s bring all of this heart work and brain work into your actual day.
This kind of transformation doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by intention. You can’t just “hope” your beliefs change—you have to create the kind of sacred space where truth has time to settle in. And not just settle into your mind, but into your body, your emotions, your daily decisions. So here’s how you begin.
Find a quiet space today. Not just physically quiet, but a space where you can let your guard down. No audience. No performance. Just you and God. Set a timer for 15 minutes—not to rush, but to give yourself a container for focus. This isn’t about checking off a box. It’s about showing up for your soul.
Once you’re there, take a few deep breaths. Let your shoulders drop. Unclench your jaw. Let your body know, “We’re safe here.” Then, in your journal—or in a voice note if writing feels too heavy—name one behavior that keeps showing up in your life. One pattern that frustrates you. That loops. That lingers. That you wish would just go away but somehow keeps resurfacing. Don’t edit it. Just name it.
Now ask yourself: What emotions are connected to this behavior? Is it shame? Fear?
Pressure? Emptiness? Regret? Try to name the actual feeling—not just the thought. Sit with it. Let yourself feel what you feel, without judgment. Then go one layer deeper. Ask: What am I telling myself when I feel this way? What is the inner dialogue that plays in your mind in those moments? What message runs in the background? Maybe it’s: “I always mess this up.” Or “They’re going to leave.” Or “I have to do more to be enough.”
Now—this is the holy part—trace that thought down to the root: What belief is driving this pattern? Not the situation. Not the person. But the belief. What have you agreed with internally that has been shaping this behavior externally? Write that belief down. Speak it aloud. And then ask God the most important question of this whole process:
“Holy Spirit, when did I start believing this?”
Give Him space to show you. Maybe a memory will come up. Maybe an image. Maybe a moment you haven’t thought about in years. Don’t analyze it—just receive it. And once you’re there, invite Him into that place: “Jesus, what do You want me to know about this memory? What do You say about me here?”
Wait for the truth to rise. He might speak a phrase. He might give you a scripture. He might flood your body with peace. Whatever comes—write it down. Don’t dismiss it. Don’t tell yourself it’s not enough. That truth is the seed. That is what you’re planting in the soil of your heart today.
Now here’s the part most people skip: Do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. This isn’t a one-time healing event. It’s a rhythm of renewal. A rhythm of realignment. The first time you say the new truth, your body might still brace. The old belief might still shout louder. But with every day you rehearse it, your nervous system learns: This truth is safe. This truth is real. This truth is mine.
And before long, what once felt foreign starts to feel like home.
So rehearse the truth until your body feels safe receiving it.
Because you weren’t created to live in survival mode. You were created to abide in truth.
And abiding takes practice.
Let today be your practice ground.
Let it be holy.
Let it be honest.
Let it be enough.
Faith-Based Affirmations
I am no longer bound by the beliefs that kept me stuck.
My fruit is changing because my roots are being healed.
I am safe, seen, and sustained by the truth of God’s Word.
Reflection Questions
What behavior in my life feels like “bad fruit”?
What emotion or belief is driving that behavior?
What new truth do I need to root myself in this week?
Prayer Targets
Lord, reveal the hidden beliefs that are shaping my behavior.
Holy Spirit, lead me into truth and help me rewrite my internal narrative.
Father, help me plant my identity in You so my life bears fruit that remains.
Song of the Day:
Let this song ground you today. As you listen, breathe deeply and let each word remind you that even when everything shakes, your identity in Christ is steady. Let this be your soundtrack as you uproot lies and build new roots in truth.
Let’s connect. Not just in the comments, not just with a double tap. I want to know what’s been on your heart. Let’s talk, dream out loud, pray if you need it, laugh if you feel like it, just real space for real conversation.
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So good and much needed! 🙏